Friday, January 20, 2017
One decided difference between fiction and reality, is that in fiction you can scroll past the boring bits and get down to the meat. All of the hellos and goodbyes, do not have to be talked about, and a conversation only needs to be related in the stellar moments beneath the mountains of detail.
This is why we can remove ourselves from what Jules and the doctor said after this – and only relate the highlights of the conversation, because no amount of discussion was going to make any sense to the doctor. In her view, there was something odd about the face that she was shown. Therefor she interpreted it in the most obvious way: Jules was somehow erratic and possibly, though she would not use this word, insane. But in side of Jules's mind a very different interpretation had donned on her, and what she needed to was get the doctor to go anyplace else in the world but beside the bottom of her bed. Then she needed to call up a particular number, which was the number of the mambo. Then she would tell her to get down to the building she lived in – because someone brought her down here, and even if that someone was not the mambo, it was someone acting under her instructions. She knew that earlier in the day a member of the dead had taken over her body – even in the hospital. This is why the doctor thought she was bipolar – she interpreted Jules and the dead person has one and the same. But Jules knew that that was not true, it could not be true, it must not be true. What she needed to do was find out what manner of person had ridden her, and what it had to say about whatever was happening. It may have been a person once upon a time, but it could be another kind of invisible as well, there was no way for her to tell at this point. So while she was talking to the doctor - she made noises at her at least – in her mind she was thinking about Marassa, and Agassou, and all of the families of invisible even if she did not know there name. She was most worried about a spirit known as Joseph Danger – because he could slip in side a ceremony and exert Petro without hesitation. There were other invisibles which could do that as well, but she had a long relationship with Joseph Danger – indeed she was afraid of him.
Very much afraid. This even crept in to her conversation with the doctor, in the real world, even as it dominated the inner conversation that she had with herself. So each time that Jules tried to get the doctor to leave, she made some sort of emotion which the doctor assumed was here. Therefore the doctor could not go in her eyes – she wanted information, especially information about what Jules was afraid of. Because the Doctor could not understand what was going on in Jules mind, and Jules – for her part – was not going to explain this to a foreigner, it was just not done. This is because almost nothing good came out of it.
Inner fight and the outer conversation diverged wildly from each other – and the doctor assumed that she was talking to a patient who could only be described as unhinged. But the doctor knew that her specialty was not in any way related to psychiatry – and eventually understood in her own mind, that a specialist needed to be phoned up. Anyway, the balance between finding out information – and getting on to other patients – finally tipped in favor of getting to see other patients. She thought for a moment that the patient should be bound up – but there was nothing violent about Jules. So she decided to flag down the nurse and tell her to sedate Jules. But that was the only thing that she could do.
So when things became calm, she looked for the nurse and stood up and talked very low to her.
“I think this patient is under some form of delusion, and I think you ought to give something to calm their nerves.”
“We only have valium.”
“That will have to do, yes, that will have to do.” Then immediately left because she had spent too much time on this one patient. But as soon as she left the elderly nurse looked over at Jules, and realized that she had been to a voodoo ritual, and their was another part of the story which she had not heard from the doctor. She to was Haitian, and knew certain things which could not be communicated to a doctor from a foreign land.
As she squatted on bed – that is the elderly nurse – she cleared her throat, and begin with that tone of voice which belongs exclusively to the elderly - young people, especially young women, do not have that raspiness that makes it work: “ I do not know how much you overheard about my conversation with the doctor.” Jules simply nodded no, she had not heard much of their exchange. Then the elderly nurse began again: “ she wants me to keep you a Valium, to calm you down. Is not very good solution in any event, because the pill does not work very well. But I think that we need to spend a view minutes – just the two of us – and discuss something which I do not think Doctor understands.” again, Jules nodded – only this time in the affirmative direction. So the nurse continued: “ I think that you did not tell the doctor something. And I think that something was that were a ritual – one that was not sanctioned by the Church. Either be Catholic or the evangelical church, am I right in this?” for the third time, Jules just nodded, and after she had done so the nurse said: “ so do you want me to find the person who ran this? And was it white magic that was done? Because I do not want rasa dragged into my hospital.”
Jewels and diamonds were all that Jules could think about – how they were the only thing that could tempt her to say something. So for the fourth time, she just nodded, and for the third time the nod was “yes”.
“All right, what is the phone number that you wish me to call – or do you want to do it your self? Because I will tell you, that they will have to get by me – and I will not allow anyone looks like they correspond with the dark arts.” At this point, Jules realized that under certain circumstances the nurse was very talkative – she had not realized this. But learn something every day, she thought.
Talking was still not an option – it was only then that Jules realized that she was not talking for a different reason. It is not that words would not come out of her mouth – but that she did not like the nurse at all, and had only admitted this to herself now. So instead, she looked by the small table that was next to her bed, to retrieve a pencil and a large piece of paper – and she intended to write the number which was the answer by La Place – because he answer the phone, not anyone else. It was not a ritual over all of the voodoo temples – it was just for this one. After all, every temple had its own rituals, and its own beliefs. Voodoo was not an organized religion.
What she wrote down was the real name of La Place – and the phone number at which the elderly nurse could reach him at, along with a note that it would be better to speak Haitian Creole. She assumed that the elderly nurse would figure this out herself – but she just had to make sure that this was known, because it was rude not to, and because she wanted anyone else to know this. After all, she could not be sure that the elderly nurse would make the phone call herself.
Once the paper was headed over, the nurse took it in both hands and read it at least three times to make sure that she had the number firmly fixed in her memory. Then she went off, as the elderly woman do, slowly and delicately. If she were a man, his steps would be plodding, not so petite. Mentally, she bit her tongue, because noticing things like that was not an amicable way of thinking.
Alone. She had been left alone to her own thoughts. At this point one could see that Jules was not a deep thinker, because all of the thoughts were trivial – looking at the white bedsheets, the gray walls, be slightly less gray floor made of concrete – anything to avoid a deeper conversation with her self about how her life was slipping away. In fact, she adamantly destroyed any trace of self-conclusion, so vehemently did she not want to examine herself, because she knew that she would find many things wrong with the way she dealt with problems – and indeed, she knew that the problem was with herself. But the welling up of such conclusions was powerful – so she thought about many other things, trivial to be sure, but having the soul purpose of not allowing her to think about herself.
Her thoughts roamed on to the names that French people had choose from on a list. She wondered if that still true, it was a particular French sort of way to do things. She thought about shoes, and sneakers, and the differences between the two. She thought about the difference between women for stockings, and the women that did not. How the women wore stockings were seen less and less along foreigners, and had never been numerous among the Haitian community. After thinking through half a dozen things, her mind begin to quiesce.Finally, the mind began to this inspection on the way her conscience was trying to to remind her life needed some adjustment. It was something thatAt to be done at least once a fortnight. Since she was a small, it was a penumbra of a Catholic education. She actually hated to have such control over her emotions – she wanted to be free and open, not close and controlled.
A younger nurse was moving steadily up to her bed – and it seems obvious that the nurse had a message. With every step her blue and snapped crisply – it was obvious that she had just gone on shift, because he had no blemishes, and was freshly ironed and steamed. The look on her face was determined, and it drew her thin body along with it. Jules notice she was tall – noticing that she wore flat shoes rather than pumps. It was not the most graceful walk in the world, clearly she had taken lessons in what was called deportment, that she was really part of le bayes – the lower class. But she was beginning to gain competence in her young body, and might eventually be a force to be reckoned with. Who knows, one day Jules would have two work with her on some assignment – of the hidden kind that much of her assigned tasks enabled Jules to do. Their was in Jules' mind a sense of possibility, and perhaps even a trepidation for someone who would eventually replace her in the cogs of the informal placement of information. After all, no one would stay forever – and Jules was more cognizant of this then most.
“Can I talk to you?” Jules noted that the diction and fluency in French of the young nurse needed a tremendous amount of work. Without stopping the young nurse continued: “There is a woman who wants to speak with you, she says that you will know what it is about.” With this the nurse made no express or implied statement that Jules' husband was involved. In this is important for someone wants to rise the ranks of the entrepreneur, or the influential. Which of course meant that Jules approved of the handling. Which meant, in turn, that though younger nurse had some rough edges, there was a possibility in her future. But this is a story for another time, when the cigarettes were snuffed out – and the wine was just a spiral in the bottom of the barrel.
So the young nurse went back to fetch the person whom she did not really know, but Jules did – as the mamba.