II
MEZ
(Mitteleuropaische Zeit)
The numbers of
a clock stand still with the presence of a moment, but that moment is
reflected in dozens of gears, each one displaying a different number
as it came through. On one side is the number one and it crimes
through and displays the time of 1931 August. It is the to gear that
represents a year on the clock when clocks were managed by seconds
who moved with sympathy. On the edge of the author is “Robert,
Michel” and he had painted at least two closely related, but
different paintings of this time. One had the word “August”,
where as the other one was unplaced in time.
The August one
was engaged in keeping a fraction of time, which if you could figure
out, was an exact moment which is displayed. The other one was more
vague in its time, but more definite in the reality of numbers, no
letters were in view. Also the August one had signature moments of
time, where as the other one had no such reference. They were the
same in subject, but not in object. One being definite and the other
indefinite.
Numbers were an
obsession for Michel Robert, he painted several studies all of which
centered around the use of a number, or numbers, which defined what
it was was being talked about. He made one of a floor, number eight
as it turned out, and you can just make out a seven dripping down as
the floor passes by them. He did this many times to get exactly right
the change in number from above to below, because there was a spot
which was neither eight nor seven. He wanted to capture all of the
frames, from solidly 8, to that in between stage where it captured
that state of indefinite.
He was a figure
which was ahead of his time, though living a long life eventually is
time reached him, and he died before it left, but there was movement
to digital which could be seen.
- I suppose it
is time to have a digression on some of the inner workings of what is
labeled as ” being out”. While I am not ” out” per se, it is
one of the stigmas in my society that I found repugnant, and when I
was a teenager, I saw more than one example of a person struggling
with this in their own way. At that time of course, people thought it
was a small number, and only at the extreme ends. however, I sought
rather differently, and that there were as distinct set of markers
that went along with it. Though I did not have a general universal
framework, it was obvious to me, that the people who had these
markers, were in no way “asking” for it – but had woken up in a
body that was set up in this way. Much as the people who were gay
were, they didn’t ask for, they had gotten it from birth.
Therefore, if
we allowed people to love another person was the same sex – which
is obvious to me that we did – we should also allow a person to
change their gender, and follow through with the the consequences of
that choice. in other words, being out was not a choice, but a
reaction to a choice made by the body before it even had any notion
of what that choice meant. therefore, like any other natural choice,
the person who woke up in the body – because remember the brain
waking up in the body is along time after the actual choice has been
made – needed to grapple with the space which we had given all us
to grapple with these changes. in other words, being out was part of
the larger experience of the world.
- There are two
caveats – one exists if a person wakes up, and finds that the
expression of their sexuality is in conflict, deeply so, with other
beings. It is not persons fault, but it does have to be limited, and
in some cases restrained. For example, pedophilia, is also not a
person’s choice. We don’t know how it evolved, but it is obvious
that either it was a choice, or it was a consequence of another
choice, which had the side affect of promoting pedophilia. It is
obvious, or rather it is obvious to most of us, that one cannot be
allowed to engage in sex with a person that is to young – though
obviously how young should be an issue. The reason is of course, the
other person involved in that relationship does not know the
consequences of it. thus pedophilia has to be restrained, because of
this effect. but the blame lies not in the person who has pedophilia,
because they too are just acting out the consequences of their genes.
Rather it is all of us to explain to the person who is a pederast why
in this culture – because remember the culture is not a fixed and
immobile object, but a fluid kind of expression that teach – why
they can not act as they feel they should. Remember various
theocracies were homes to people who were pederasts, and manipulated
the culture to reflect this structure. Their are numerous other
examples in the literature, and we have not taken a view which will,
in detail, say which ones are good, which ones are bad, and which
ones may not be either good or bad, but have consequences.
- The other
one, obviously, is that the structure of the institution forces a
choice which has to be made. For example which religion are you? In
large part, this decision was forced before you, the person, were
born. My religion is to a great extent based on the religions open to
my parents, as yours is as well. This is a different sort of choice,
but has to be made in the background of allowing people to work
through a choice which has been given to them. Call it the “C”
which lies at the back of all LGBT discussions. For example, in a
culture which allows young men to be ordained as Buddhists, one of
the choices that they could make is to be a monk, with no stigma
attached to back choice.
This point is
part of my active analysis of human life in general, and it is part
of the focus of sotnaC book 2 in particular.
- Why this is
important to all of us, is that all of us have defects in our genes
which have distracted consequences in our behavior. So while being
“out” is an extreme case, there are others which while less
extreme, effect many people – and they fight with this all the
time. So while a person may be heterosexual, they also may have
problems with their sex which bind them up in very tangled knots. So
I welcome Lisa as having had the foresight to label herself as “out”
doing that even on this Internet form of discussion there are
tremendous consequences, that most of us don’t even know exist, but
which she feels, or imagine she feels, every time she has to explain.
Just as I must stand up and say that having someone like Lisa is a
challenge to all of us to do better in making our society work for
all of us, whether they are out, gay, or otherwise involved in the
point of discussion. Because, I again will remind everyone, that they
or someone they know has a defect in their sexuality, or other part
of their personality, which causes them to struggle with it.
Remember this,
as I remember you.
